Sexploration with Monika
Sexploration with Monika
Masquerotica 2013: Costumes & Consent Are Sexy

You can join me live on location at the epic sf sexy-party Masquerotica with Club Exotica, Bondage-A-Go-Go, Syd Gris, Cabaret de Caliente, Barron Scott Levkoff of Kinky Salon, Dark Garden, Mama Fou, and Clod Hop with Carnival Fantastique, Joegh of Anon Salon and so much mmmore! We'll describe the sights, sounds, eye-popping costumes and sexy goings-on, how to make a sexy corset that's COMFORTABLE, and all the myriad of ways to get consent (so you can make sure the person you are touching actually enjoys it) including the ever-so blackbelt move the "ask without asking." Masquerotica is an annual sexy pre-Halloween costume party that dares to discourage touristing and bad manners by outlawing street clothes, looky-loos, and unwanted advances. It's a "second base" party so consensual hugging, kissing, making out, above-the-waist groping/frotterage/fondling/pleasurable touching are A-OK. You'll hear Wes and I be surprised by some light and very exhibitionist BDSM play "cropping up" just before our eyes.  

Direct download: Sexploration131019_Masquerotica2013.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:26pm PDT

Girl Sex 101: Roadtrip Sex-ed Romance Novel Comic

Girl Sex 101 is roadtrip sex-ed comic book erotica, where the story "drives home" lessons about pleasure, anatomy, sexy communication skills, consent, and the 1,001 ways to pleasure a woman. Join sex educator & author of the Tales of the Pack (lesbian werewolves) books Allison Moon and I at the Fruitopia loft for a lubricating discussion of what anyone can learn from women having sex. In Girl Sex 101, Jamie and her ex Layla are driving a van from Vancouver to San Diego, and sexy adventures ensue. Allison and porn comic artist kd diamond of Salacious Magazine are creating a feminist, pleasure-positive, and consent-oriented sex education comic-book story to help women of all orientations understand their bodies and their partners. For example, in the first chapter, Layla has a hard time speaking up about what she likes in bed with a hot femme she picks up. Later on, Jamie finds herself in bed with a trans guy and doesn't quite know how to talk with him about his body. Meanwhile, Layla wants to communicate her STI status to a new flame, while Jamie navigates fooling around with an old crush with a disability. Girl Sex 101 also features sex-ed superstars Megan Andelloux, Tristan Taormino, Jiz Lee, Carol Queen, Nina Hartley, Sex Nerd Sandra, Reid Mihalko, Kelly Shibari and YOU! Allison wants to hear from you on Twitter and Tumblr, and you can be a part of the genesis of Girl Sex 101 on Kickstarter -- if they can raise just over $1000 more Girl Sex 201 will happen with more advanced topics like kink, non-monogamy, fisting, oh my!

Direct download: Sexploration131012_GirlSex101RoadTripSexEd.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:10pm PDT

Love Drugs & Polyamory with the Queen

Are you in love or are you drugged by your own brain chemicals? If you have decided to open your relationship, how can you make sure you're doing it in a healthy way? Francesca Gentille is the founder of the Sacred Courtesan School, the Knights of Eros, and the Temple of Shadows. We discuss new relationships and all the drug-like brain chemicals that come with them...  and when you're a floaty-hot-and-bothered-smitten-kitten, how to tell the difference between true love and pheromones. Plus, what's the difference between polyamory, and unconscious non-monogamy or "cheating?!!" What is high-protocol polyamory and how would you start a polyamorous relationship with the queen (or her paramour)? How can you engage with people in other relationships in the most conscious way - so that things go as smoothly as possible in uncharted waters? Could polyamory be a mechanism for personal or spiritual-growth? Also, you'll learn something ridiculous about the history of "playing footsie" that will either blow your mind, make you LOL, or explain the footwear of elves.

Direct download: Sexploration130807_LoveOrDrugs_Francesca.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:11pm PDT

Tantra & Pleasure: the Danger Path?

Why is Tantra, the "pleasure path" to spirituality, also seen as dangerous? I'm wandering in, around, and above Union Square with Francesca Gentille, founder of the Sacred Courtesan School, the Knights of Eros, and the Temple of Shadows. We'll explore a number of ideas in, around and on top of consciousness and sexuality. Learn about "Intuitive Safe Sex," whether or not it's actually safe, and how to communicate about STI's and manage your risk. Do you talk to your vulva? You could be able to experience a new level of orgasm by loving & being IN your body. Plus, can the tools and techniques of BDSM & kinky sex be used for sacred sexuality and spiritual connection? In relationships, how can you break the cycle of neediness and fear and come to a place of choice? Does playing "hard to get" work or is it dangerous because it communicates that we're not able to be honest in a yes? How do you deal with mixed messages, while being open, authentic, and creating allure with power & clarity? If your body is a temple, how do you adorn it? Plus, what sexy outfits mean and the connection between sex and spiritual power. What is the mysterious and yet so prevalent connection between shoes, feet, & sex? What happens when we suppress sexual expression and desire?

Direct download: Sexploration130429_PleasureDangerPath.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:42pm PDT

 Cockette's Tinsel Tarts In A Hot Coma: Theater of the ReDICKulous

You may wonder what is a "Tinsel Tart in a Hot Coma?” But this musical isn't about making sense, it's about outrageousness!  It does ~have~ a plot about a Hollywood star (or a "Tinsel Tart") going back to New York, but this musical trades narrative for being outrageously sparkly, queer, and sexually provocative. If you listened to the "Hot Greeks" Sexploration with Monika episode, you'll remember the Cockettes, who have been described as "mindless libertineage," and "beautiful, funny, liberating, psychedelic messengers from the gods." There's a story within a story here that arcs from SF to NYC and goes all the way back to the late 1960's North Beach. Until June 1st 29th, 2013, the Thrillpeddlers are reviving another Cockette's Theatre of The Ridiculous sextravaganza with 3 of the original Cockettes, Scrumbly Koldewyn, “Sweet Pam” Tent, and Rumi Missabu. This troupe of glittery anti-establishment drag queens took "Tinsel Tarts in A Hot Coma" on the road to the Big Apple in 1971. They got a lot of press, and while not all of it was good, they penetrated the culture, inspiring glam rock, glitter rock, 80's glitter-glam fashion, a host of spin off troupes, bands, documentaries, YouTube make-up tutorials and more. The "Tinsel Tarts" you can see now at the Hypnodrome, is no less glittery but restored, rewritten, and rehearsed... from a 1971 outline to Thrillpeddler's full-length version. The Thrillpeddlers are still clearly having a blast onstage... but the set doesn't really look like cardboard anymore. We'll speak with original Cockettes Sweet Pam Tent and Rumi Missabu in this episode of Sexploration with Monika, and the person who may have coined the term "drag king," Leigh Crow, aka Elvis Herselvis. In the previous Sexploration with Monika episode about the Cockettes, we interviewed the other original Cockette - composer Scrumbly Koldewyn, plus Thrillpeddler's artistic director Russell Blackwood. "Tinsel Tarts in a Hot Coma" has just been extended and will run until June 29th!

Direct download: Sexploration130501_TinselTartsInAHotComa.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:06pm PDT

Aphrodisiacs and Ingredients for Arousal

Have you ever wanted to try a real aphrodisiac? Chances are you have - and I don't mean that you've been dosed - because that's not sexy. There are tons of natural aphrodisiacs, and they could have been masquerading as a tossed salad - not THAT kind of tossed salad, though that could be an arousal amplifier too. Natural aphrodisiacs are just another way that God shows us that nature is pro-sex and when used with intention, you could be in for a lot of fun. Nutritionist Jared of will tell us which herbal aphrodisiacs he uses in his truffles. Speaking of a lot of fun, the "My Blissed Out Valentine" haiku for the aquatic & couple's massage from are here too. It's all for science - awareness, oxytocin, arousal, and exploration on this episode of Sexploration with Monika.

Direct download: Sexploration130415_AphrodesiacsArousal.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:53pm PDT

Burlesque Self-Esteem Scholarships (All Kinds of Sexy II)

You can join me on-location now at the glittering "All Kinds of Sexy" burlesque scholarship benefit for victims of rape, domestic violence, and eating disorders from Bombshell Betty. Have you ever been to a dance show where all the dancers looked exactly the same? This isn't that show. There's all kinds of different going on tonight, not just body type, but also I've never seen this Sesame Street character strip before! So many surprises. Also, could learning sultry dance moves (and how to take off your clothes in a sexy way) be part of a process of empowerment and connection with the body and sexual power? Can learning to dance the strip tease be healing? What's it like learning to bare it all (to a group of supportive women) not just physically but "baring it all" in other ways too? We'll talk to scholarship beneficiary Candy Pie, and enjoy burlesque-style teases and sparkle from dance instructor Bombshell Betty, Valhalla Voom, Poundcake Dee Light, Rosey Booticelli, and mmmore at the Elbow Room's "All Kinds of Sexy." Thanks to Alex Akamine for this photo of Cleo Torres.

Direct download: Sexploration021913_AllKindsOfSexyToo.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:46pm PDT

 Lesbian Love Story from 1890, A Lady and a Woman

What would it have been like for a lady to fall in love with another woman in 1890? Meet Miss Flora Devine, an African-American lady who owns an inn in a small Southern black township in 1890. She does not realize she could be same-sex attracted until she falls in love with Biddy Higgins, an itinerant butcher. We'll speak with actresses Dawn L. Troupe & Velina Brown, Director John Fisher, and playwright Shirlene Holmes. "A Lady and a Woman" is a production of Theater Rhinoceros, the oldest LGBTQ theatre company in the world, started in 1977 in San Francisco. A long time before it was "ok" to be a lesbian or queer, "A Lady and a Woman" explores the interlocking themes of spirituality and sexuality telling the story of two women who find in each other the courage to begin a new life. We'll discuss other works by Shirlene Holmes including "Daughters" about identity and trans-cultural adoption, and "Strong Arms" about a shelter for battered men, exploring themes of masculinity, power, and ending abuse & domestic violence. This show runs through March 24th, 2013 at the Eureka Theater. 

Direct download: Sexploration130315_LesbianLoveIn1890.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:43pm PDT

Pleasure is Good For You (Healthy, Healing, Empowering)

You might want to stop calling it masturbation because the word masturbation literally means "to disturb with the hand." Devi Ward calls it "the art of self pleasure." What's wrong with touching your own pleasure parts? Absolutely nothing, as long as it's private or consensual, and it's good for you. In fact, not only does pleasure, especially sexual pleasure, have a number of physiological benefits, but it can heal emotional trauma as well! In her book, "Shake Your Soul-Song!: A Woman's Guide To Self-Empowerment Through The Art Of Self-Pleasure" Devi Ward describes how taking time for pleasure every day can transform your life. Also, the amount of time you take is important too, this is not about "getting it over with." She'll describe the difference between climax and orgasm, and why it's essential to more pleasure. Also, we'll talk about the importance of relaxation and the parasympathetic nervous system in health and well-being. (Thanks to Fields of Heather for this photo of Devi.) What about those "guilty pleasures" like ice cream? Is there a way to transform the experience to make it both more pleasurable and not "guilty?" There's a simple key here, and if you want to guess it starts with an "A."Learn how pleasure can be a path to healing and empowerment on this episode of Sexploration with Monika.

Direct download: Sexploration130225_PleasureIsGoodForYou.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:42pm PDT

Sensual Interactive Couple's Massage (My Blissed Out Valentine)

Do you want to bliss out with your Valentine? This is a very unique couple's massage that's so very, very sensual (but not sexual) and luxurious, intimate, & deeply relaxing. Massage therapists Brian and Seleece have created a unique massage experience for couples in their bamboo-garden Oakland loft. The experience starts with aquatic massage like Watsu in the huge 98-degree pool in their living room. Then, you two go upstairs into their plush candle-lit loft for a massage where you relax and are literally massaged into each other's arms! Mmmm, the oxytocin. Listen for the Blissed-out Valentine haiku contest! Deadline Feb 16th, 2013. Best haiku wins a 90-minute aquatic & couple's massage in Oakland, California.

Direct download: Sexploration130214_SensualCouplesMassage.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:50pm PDT

The Kinky Salon Memoir and Tango

Polly Superstar, who co-founded Kinky Salon, is writing her memoirs. Over the last 10-years of throwing San Franfreakshow's most creative sex party she describes her new project KoTango with bestseller "Sex At Dawn" author Christopher Ryan. KoTango is a cross between a social network, sex-positive news platform, and open-relationship dating or meet-up site. Polly and I discuss how if humans were "naturally promiscuous" in prehistoric times, where does that leave us now after 10,000 years of culturally-imposed monogamy? We discuss polyamory, open marriages, and even just admitting that you're attracted to others in a monogamous relationship and creating a safe container for mutual exploration and expression. Also, she tells us about a tantric awakening that she had while trying to manage the Kinky Salon sex party. Thanks to Kinky Salon photographer for this photo! Plus, the big Valentine's Day Kinky Salon is coming up, the Sweetheart's Ball at their Misson Control headquarters Saturday, February 16th. Mission Control has a unique sex party for every flavor of sexual expression in San Francisco: tantra, all women, polyamorous, queer or gay (mostly) men, pair-bonded couples, swingers, and unicorns (oh my), and a sex party for all of that at the same time. Imagine. 

Direct download: Sexploration130206_KinkySalonMemoirTango.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:00pm PDT

The Empowerminty Sex in the City - Drag/Grrl power & strip-mining the spectrum of sex

Has the say-anything 30-something grrl-power brunches of Sex in the City really come so far from the women's consciousness-raising circles that fueled the women's liberation movement of the 60's and 70's? Yes and no, especially Trannyshack's all-drag version at Rebel - with drag queens (some that were even born women), drag kings, and even raunchier more irreverent jokes than the HBO version. Heklina's Carrie Bradshaw is hilarious. Next-level ridiculous and absurd while still eerily recognisable as are the rest of the foursome: Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte. Trannyshack performs episodes of Sex in the City at Rebel in two shows every Wednesday night. Hilarious, saucy, and irreverent. Join me and my girls at opening night of Trannyshack's Sex in the City for giggles and even empowerminty strip-mining of dominant culture sexual foibles. Glorious fun and a great girl's night out even if you are not (always) a girl.

Direct download: Sexploration011613_SexInTheCityEmpowerminty.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:53am PDT

Hack Your Relationship: Tips For <3 + :)

No matter where you are in your relationship there are simple tricks to make communication, collaboration, and trust easier and more automatic. Many of these ideas tap into scientific research on brain chemistry and the subconscious mind. You can make arguments more mutually helpful if you know how to deal with getting emotionally triggered. There are even body postures and subconscious cues to yourself and your partner that stimulate natural peace-making. What do you need to know about yourself and your partner so you can allow each other to cool off and reconnect? Relationship & sex educator Reid Mihalko, who is developing Relationship 10X, will exchange relationship ninja techniques with me on everything from beverages to body language. You can use these ideas to hack your relationship and facilitate deeper intimacy. With these relationship tools, you can navigate difficult conversations more smoothly and make even an argument productive and positive. 

Direct download: Sexploration130104_HackYourRelationship.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:50pm PDT