Sexploration with Monika
Sexploration with Monika
Kinky Salon's Merry Sexy Whobillation Party

You can explore with us the festivest sex party in San Francisco, Kinky Salon's Whobillation! Join us for a real "porn shoot" in the "Clounge," the lounge by the clowns of Klown Klub. Actually "the porn shoot" isn't what you think, but I didn't get the joke for awhile either, LOL. Join us for Scott and Polly's ridiculously festive cabaret, where Scotty the Blue Bunny rides a big red balloon and revelers shove the innuendo of candy-cane licking in our (and their) faces with a pepperminty contest. Bix of Velvet tells us how to start an all-girl sex party, and Sarah from Club Kiss spills how to tell your parents you're running a sex party. You'll hear some surprising things about the possibility of having an orgasm without even being touched, psycholagny, MRI's and brain activity. Plus we'll discuss how abstinence-only sex education work the opposite of the way parents are hoping. Plus during the holidays from hannukah to Christmas, it can be hard to take care of yourself, so Marcia Baczynski gives us a script for making boundaries, and saying no while saying yes to what we do want. Other sex-positive Mission Control luminaries like Tex, Lex, Illy, Bo from Gooferman, and Rose Pistola describe the kinds of intentional families and futures we're creating by playing, connecting, and loving and celebrating xmas, xxxmas, or whatever sparkles your snowflake in non-traditional sex-positive spaces like Kinky Salon.

Direct download: Sexploration121711_Whobillation.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:08pm PDT

Sex Worker Advocacy, Activism w/ Lilly Ally + Maxine Holloway

Do you think there's something wrong with a woman literally owning her own sexuality? Does she have the right to choose on what terms she shares sex, even if that means she asks something in exchange? We've talked about the economics of sex and monogamy and how that affects everyone, but how would it affect you if prostitution were legalized? Instead of the "degrading" words for women and men who exchange erotic services for money, we use the word "sex-worker." Most people think one of the worst insults you can call a woman is "whore," but by marginalizing sex workers we allow them to be even more vulnerable to abuse, even from police. There are many different kinds of sex workers; male, female, and transgender, who work in porn, erotic dancing, escorting, dominating (BDSM), massage, tantra, and phone sex. Advocates and activists like Lilly Ally and Maxine Holloway seek to support sex-workers, decriminalize and destigmatize their work. Lilly Ally works with "erotic trailblazers" to power up their business models and seeks to honor the literal and figurative body of knowledge that erotic practitioners bring to our culture. Maxine Holloway is a webcam girl at, a curator of events at Femina Potens, and started a support-group and live action burlesque-at-the-next-level for and by sex-workers show, called "Cum and Glitter." We'll talk about the importance of consent, being able to own and manage performances (from body hair to scripts), and self-sustainability - not just financially, but on all seven(!) levels.

Direct download: Sexploration121611_SexWorkerActivism.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:30pm PDT

Sexual economics: monogamy, scarcity, and abundance!

You may not think of sex as an economy, but think about how fear and optimism can affect the market. Now, think about how we are supposed to think about sex and relationships in our culture. The economy, the market, and stock prices can go up or down just because people are afraid of scarcity, afraid of lost jobs, or conversely feeling optimistic about the future and believing that something will make a lot of money. In sexuality, we're supposed to be monogamous, there's the idea of "the one," and supposedly the worst thing in the world is to be alone. Everyone is afraid of being alone, and if you want love and intimacy, multiple partner relationships are considered "dirty" or "cheating" by many people. Have you ever experienced a sense of scarcity in your sex life? Could you see sexuality as a kind of economy, and what would it take for you to feel "rich" and optimistic about love? How does no-other-option-for-love monogamy function in our sexual economy? We'll discuss the economics of sex and relationships with sexY-party expert Polly Whittaker of Kinky Salon. How is scarcity enforced in our sexualities, for instance: shame, fear of loneliness, and the commodification of "hotness." Find out how to become more free, have more authenticity and how to create abundance (in your pants)!!

Direct download: Sexploration120911_SexualEconomics.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:03am PDT

Whore! beauty, power, and subverting dominant culture

Why should you celebrate female sexual power even if you are not female? What do YOU get out of sex-worker activism? How is your life better if being a "whore" isn't bad? Sexploration with Monika is on location at Whore Speaks! celebrating the 2nd issue of Whore! Magazine produced by Ginger Murray with performances celebrating creativity, female power and sexuality. We interview Dottie Lux of Red Hots Burlesque about beauty and subverting the dominant culture paradigm, and why she is wrapping her curves in packing tape. She'll tell you how she gets people's attention to get them to think about something important. Why is Red Hots Burlesque so intellectual? Because the sexiest part of your body is your brain. Ginger, of Whore! Magazine, tells us why she has a penis glued to her girdle and we talk about gender, celebrating not fitting in, and authenticity. Learn why she called her magazine "Whore!" and how she promotes sexual power for all genders, smashing the barrier between sexy and smart. Photo of Dottie Lux c 2011 by Amber Gregory Photography. You can subscribe to Sexploration with Monika!

Direct download: Sexploration120511_WhoreSpeaks.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:08pm PDT

The Erotic 8-Course Gourmet Dinner

The intersection of cuisine and sensuality is pleasure, and "Our Gourmet Life" wants to be a literally saucy playground. The 8-course erotic dinner was created by Chris, Beth, and Kal in private homes around SF to entice you into their world of open eroticism and delicious play. How do they create a safe space for their servers to be topless among strangers? How can you make a menu erotic? A surprising leafy aphrodisiac? How can we encourage the opening up of both female and male sexuality? In the podcast, we'll talk about how they combine open sexuality and epicurean bliss, and take 16 - 20 guests on a lascivious, delicious adventure. If YOU are craving an evening where desire is celebrated, request an invitation via e-mail at sexplorationwithmonika(at) The 8-course erotic dinner is a gourmet French-inspired meal, made each time from scratch and fresh organic ingredients. The dinner is every other Saturday at 7:00pm and it often sells out. Sexploration with Monika has infiltrated the private location (in a fully consensual way without compromising any identities), chatting with Midori, and Ken, the orgasmically meditating sioux chef. Send me a message, I dare you... this evening has the kind of promise you whisper. Sexual freedom isn't "easy"... but there's no virtue in being difficult! Let's talk about it: subscribe to Sexploration with Monika podcasts on iTunes, or download free episodes anytime at 

Direct download: 8CourseEroticDinner.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:23am PDT

Interview with a (man who wants to be a real) Fox!

You probably know someone who dresses up as a kitty for Halloween, or maybe you've worn ears and a tail once or twice... can you imagine wanting to be an animal for real? Meet Smash, dressed head-to-toe in a red latex fox suit at the supperclub bondage dinner (photo by Robert Tur). Smash even has rubber paws, and yips when you say hello. All he wants in the world is to be a collared pet, and Mistress Elisa, is glad to feed him in a dog bowl, hold his leash, and wait-till-you-hear more. Wanting to really be an animal is called “species dysphoria,” and far from being the only one, Smash has a pack of furry friends. These human animals even have a special event, a hunt. Imagine giving up human language and thought, all you have to worry about is eating, sleeping... and sex. Would you want to be (or have) a "living sex toy," as Elisa calls Smash? Apparently, as she says, foxes are “notoriously slutty.” Let's explore the inner life of Smash, a human fox, and his loving partner, Mistress Elisa. Themes include an animal environmentalism or ecosexuality, animal head space as a way to access the mental space of meditation (utter presence in the moment), and being wildly shame-free. Elisa and her  fox discuss why their play is definitely not bestiality, the different mental “fursonas” Smash indulges in, and the unique perspective one develops on the noisy human world through the eyes, ears, and soul of an animal.

Direct download: Sexploration111411_FoxInterview.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:15am PDT

Add sizzle back into your relationship, and then really turn it up!

You're in a relationship: at first you are having MIND-BLOWING SEX all the time, but after a while you're having "efficient sex" & then eventually, maybe no sex at all! Why does that always happen in long-term relationships? :( Do you want have long-lasting love plus all the sizzling sex? Tim & Susan Bratton have been there, together for almost 20 years... after about 5 years they were like friends – co-habitating, raising their daughter – but they’d lost the sexual intimacy. He wanted to leave her because he was essentially in a sexless marriage. She wanted him to leave him because he was checked out of the relationship. Tim and Susan knew they couldn’t do any better than each other as far as spouses. All they could do was divorce and trade each other in for a “fresh model.” But they wanted their cake (love) and getting it all over their faces too so they worked really hard to figure out how  to get their sexy back... with sizzle to spare! Since this was such a common issue for couples, Susan created "Revive Her Drive" to share her secrets with husbands everywhere. Special "carried away" bonus for smartphone listeners from “Hot sex: Over 200 things you can try tonight.” Then, "Dr" Diego of Love Toy Rentals rev's it up past 11 with pleasure technology that women are saying is a bigger thrill than the hitachi magic wand. Professional dominatrix and sex educator Eve Minax said that her orgasm was so strong that not only did her little dog start howling with her but her head nearly exploded, no really. With Token Straight Guy comedian Paul Brumbaugh from FCC Free Radio's "The Edge of Insanity!" What does the sybian really feel like? Inquiring minds...

Direct download: Sexploration102111_ReviveHerDrive.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:57am PDT

Sex at Dawn: were prehistoric humans "sluts?"

Do you think that monogamy is "natural" for humans or did we evolve to be "slutty?" In this Sexploration with Monika special episode, Christpher Ryan, author of Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality, explains evidence from anthropology, anatomy, & primatology indicating that our ancestors were promiscuous, and not only shared sex partners but lived in egalitarian groups that shared food, child care, and probably didn't really care which baby was whose. Ryan and Jethá confront why long-term fidelity can be so difficult for so many, why homosexuality persists in the face of standard evolutionary logic; and what the human body reveals about the prehistoric origins of modern sexuality. Ryan and Jethá expose the ancient roots of human sexuality while pointing toward a more optimistic future illuminated by our innate capacities for love, cooperation, and generosity. Plus, in this interview recorded at San Francisco's Center for Sex and Culture, Ryan explains why external testicles are like having an extra fridge in the garage just for beer, because you are ready for a party to break out at *any* time. Sexploration with Monika is now on iTunes, and you can download free podcasts anytime at 

Direct download: Sexploration111109_SexAtDawn.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:53pm PDT

 Masquerotica live and on-location from SF's 1st annual

You can come on a roving exploration of the big sexy epic Masquerotica, chatting with Annie Sprinkle, porn star parodist Tom Orr, Margo St James founder of COYOTE and the St James Infirmary, burlesque dancer and body-image activist Lady Monster, SF's sluttiest blogger Fleur De Lis, the Asian Diva Girls, democracy activists Tony's Circus, and more zombie strippers than at which you can shake bloody doll parts. I couldn't really chat with the zombie strippers, they just groan and moan but at least they love me for my brains. Masquerotica, October 22nd, was the 1st annual Halloween celebration from the creators of the Sea of Dreams NYE party, Opulent Temple and FreshSF. Nine stages and exotic playgrounds of indulgence and really smart eye candy like the spectacular Kinky Salon XXX Funhouse with not only zombie strippers but also vampires, jungle savages, and the Grope-a-Clown booth. Plus an excellent point about tax dollars and sex work made by a villanous goose-duck. The Hooker's Ball Brothello MC'd by Annie Sprinkle, Carol Queen of Center for Sex & Culture, Margo St James and yours truly. (Thanks to Herman Privette for this photo of Carol & Annie!) More photos here.

Direct download: Sexploration111022_LiveatMasquerotica.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:37am PDT

COYOTE/St James Infirmary Margo St James, Non-monogamy, Sex Ed

You'll hear legendary sex-positive feminist Margo St James talk about the birth of the sex-worker rights movement in San Francisco plus her checkered past with politics, law-enforcement, and her relationship with Paul Avery, a newspaper man of note. Margo St. James founded COYOTE "Call Off Your Old Tired Ethics" the sex-worker activism group in 1973 after novelist Tom Robbins called St. James “the coyote trickster.” Margo St James also ran and won San Francisco Board of Supervisors and founded the St James Infirmary, a clinic for sex-workers. Margo St James, Annie Sprinkle, Carol Queen, and I are also curating the Hooker’s Ball Brothello stage at Masquerotica on Saturday, October 22nd. Plus, we'll talk about the trials and joys of open relationships and asking for what you want with Marcia Baczynski, and erotic edu-tainer Spycey Spyce will make us giggle while teaching about safer sex and intimate communication. With Token Straight Guy Johnny Wang! Photo by Herman Privette. 

Direct download: Sexploration111014_MargoSpycey.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:45am PDT